Who Are You?
When I first started meeting with my Wednesday morning networking group nearly 3 years ago, it was perfectly acceptable to write the person’s first name when filling out a leads slip – and to use just my first name, as I was the only “Beth” in the group.
Over the last 36 months, the group’s numbers have swelled and shrunk and swelled again – now boasting nearly 40 women who meet every Wednesday at 7 am, which has resulted in a bit of overlap – of names, not business types.
We now identify as “one of the four Carols” or “one of the Beths” (there are three Elizabeths and me – I’m a Bethyl – not much overlap there!)
Because there is overlap, it’s more important than ever to differentiate from others who share my name and my occupation. When I Google myself (funny that just a few years ago that wasn’t a verb!), I find a handful of other Beth Hermes (who knew?!). One is a pro golfer who graduated from Purdue. She’s got nothing to worry about – I’m the “divot queen” on the golf course!
But what if you Googled yourself and found that the person who shares your name is – um – unsavory? Would that hurt your reputation?
Perhaps.
I was having lunch with friends this week and this topic came up. One of my friends said he had never Googled himself, so I did it for him. He has nothing to worry about – his “alter egos” include an insurance representative in Oregon and a Public Safety administrator in Tennessee.
Another friend who is a public figure shares a name with an artist and a chiropractor – perfectly respectable.
A third individual has to do a bit of “damage control” to maintain credibility; apparently this person’s “alter ego” is a porn star!
And another person who is running for office posted her campaign website and her “alter ego” found her – and blogged about her! (Only nice things, thank goodness!)
Even if our names are unique (believe it or not, there’s another “Bethyl” Hermes – but she spells her name a little differently), people whom we’ve met at a networking meeting or who have been given our name or business card as a referral don’t necessarily know the difference – and they’re the ones who “Google” us on a regular basis.
How do you maintain a professional image when you share your name with someone else?
- Make sure your website contains current information
- Update your blog often
- Interact with others through social media – frequent posts on LinkedIn, Twitter, even Facebook
- Publish articles or columns in the local media, particularly if they have an online component
- Google yourself frequently to see where you rank
Sharing a name doesn’t have to be painful. In fact, it could be fun. Who knows – maybe I’ll reach out to Beth Hermes, pro golfer, and see if she’ll teach me how to hit the ball instead of the turf!
Is THIS Networking?
In the past, I’ve discussed (okay, RANTED) about what Networking is NOT, but a lot of people are still confused about what Networking IS.
It’s hard to define, because Networking can look very different, depending on who is doing it, who is watching, and what their ultimate goals are.
Over the next several posts, I’ll pull questions out of the mail bag (virtual, of course) about what constitutes actual Networking.
Scenario 1 – The NETWORKING EVENT
An announcement in the paper/trade magazine/online invites “everyone who replies by XX/XX (date)” to participate in an open-networking forum at such-and-such facility. There will be food, drink, etc. Members, one price; non-members, another price, or everyone free with a donation to the Charity of the Night. Vendor tables available (this is often where they make their money).
A lot of people ask me if this is really “worthwhile networking.”
Networking at WCBA Breakfast Meeting
The frustrating answer is, “It depends.”
If your goal is to collect a gazillion business cards and score some free or low-cost grazing, then yes, this is worthwhile. Why? Because your goals will be met.
Here’s who else will benefit from this type of event:
- Vendors – those people who have booths (and likely, giveaway items) will accomplish some networking goals here, as they will have the opportunity to chat with people about their product or service, collect information from interested parties, and have a list of folks who voluntarily provided information for follow-up.
The key to success with a vendor table is to have a plan going into the event: how many people you can reasonably expect to talk to, what requirements must be met in order to receive a top- line giveaway item or door prize, and how you will manage the follow-up (because, let’s face it, even the best networking means nothing if follow-up is not done correctly!)
- Event Coordinators – even if the event is “free,” there’s a cost – and that is your contact information at the registration area (or online, if pre-registration is required). If the event was “successful,” you’ll be talking about it, and will help them fill the room again for the next event.
- Caterers – my husband spent nearly two decades working private clubs and restaurants, and he would argue that an event like this is hit-or-miss. If you get in front of a handful of office managers who look for a quality caterer, or luck out and meet a wedding planner looking for something innovative, then you’ve done well at a networking event.
- Appointment-setters – the person who strategically meets just a handful of individuals who offer products or services she is actively looking for will likely meet her goals at this venue as well. (On the flip-side, if you meet someone and are encouraged to try their product even if you had no idea what it was before the event, you may want to re-assess your network meeting strategy).
- Introducers – for lack of a better term – these folks invite colleagues because they know other folks in their sphere of influence will be there, and it’s a great opportunity to introduce the two face-to-face. Chances are, they’ll also be introduced to someone new, whom they can add to their networking arsenal.
Before you attend a networking event, consider what your goals are, have a plan for what you’ll say if given the opportunity, and remember to listen more than you speak.
If you stick to the plan, you’re more likely to walk away from the event feeling “successful.”
What’s “Fun” Got To Do With It?
photo courtesy The Dinosaur Museum
Back in elementary school, there were two kinds of homework that my parents never had to get onto me to complete: writing assignments and dioramas. The first was because I’ve had a passion for writing since I picked up my first Crayola and wrote my name. As for dioramas – who doesn’t love gluing acorns and Popsicle sticks and plastic dinosaurs into a shoe box?
Before we had computers that laid out an entire newspaper page on a screen – photos and all –we ran long columns of text through the glue barrel and pasted them on a light board, and brought photos to life in pans of mysterious liquid in the darkroom. Glue and chemicals – how cool is that?
And admit it – when you go to a festival or expo or networking event, you visit the tables that have the brightly colored giveaway items first, don’t you? I don’t know about you, but I get an endorphin rush from click-pens and those nifty little organizers with a variety of sticky notes inside.
We’re fun-seekers at heart. Whether we enjoy clicking away on the computer in search of gate-openers or clients; visiting networking events filled with display tables, free food and plenty of people with name tags and business cards; or meeting with people one-on-one, we’ll perform more of the activities which we enjoy, and fewer of those that leave us feeling spent.
You’ve probably been to a workshop or website to determine how you can formulate your “UVP” (Unique Value Proposition) – that quality which helps you craft a message that resonates with potential clients by making you stand out from the crowd.
It’s serious business, but what if you made it (gasp!) – FUN?
Sales studies illustrate that people buy from people they know and like. But a third key component in that equation is memorable. How can you buy a product from someone if you don’t remember their name? Let’s face it, after a long day of networking, all of the business cards kind of blend together.
When crafting your one-minute, all work and no play is B-O-R-I-N-G. Infuse some of your personality into the message, say
photo courtesy Whats Cooking America
something that will make them laugh (in a good way!), wear a special pin or scarf/tie when you give a presentation or meet with someone for coffee. (Better yet, find a neat little beignet place or a shop that makes a killer smoothie).
We spend so much of our time networking. It pays in the long run (literally) if you have more fun doing what you do!
Network and Be Kind…
I don’t usually re-post the blogs of others, but this piece is a wonderful reminder about what KINDNESS is… and isn’t.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!
Networking By Numbers
While there is no hard and fast numbers game in networking (as in, if I talk to 20 people, 10 of them will be interested in my product or service and 5 of them will buy today), you can count on a few figures to help you set - and hopefully reach – goals that will make your networking experience fruitful and fulfilling:
1. Evaluate your investments at least every 6 months. If you are paying dues to be a member of a networking organization, is it paying off? Sure, you like the people, maybe the venue is nice and the food is delicious, but if you are paying more in dues each month than you are seeing in your income column, it might be time to find a new group.
2. Sixty seconds. That’s usually the amount of time you have to tell people who you are, what you do and why they should use you – at least during the meeting. If you’re running out of time every time you speak, start paring back your message. Short and sweet packs a punch!
3. Fifteen. That’s the number of minutes you have before and after a meeting to talk to people without a buzzer. Those crucial moments are the ones in which you find out more about your colleagues, make appointments and conduct meaningful business.
4. The rule of 7s: In your first 7 seconds, you make a first impression; in the next 7 seconds, you generate interest in yourself, your product or your service; in the third 7 seconds you tell your story.
5. Fifty percent. That’s the minimum amount of time you should have your mouth closed during a networking encounter. At least half of the time you spend with a prospective client or networking colleague should be spent listening to what they need or what they have to offer.
Sometimes it’s good to forget numbers as well. Remember that it’s not the number of business cards you can stuff in your pocket, it’s the number of quality relationships you can build at a business meeting that help you build your reputation, your brand and ultimately your bottom line.
Practice What You Preach
It never ceases to amaze me that when I step outside of my preconceived notions about what I “should” be doing, opportunities arise that are enormously enjoyable.
"The Social Girl" Carol Reinlie
Last year, longtime friend and networking accomplice, Carol Reinlie, and I decided to start offering classes on social media and how to write to get noticed. Carol is a marketing guru whose education of choice these days is podcasts and seminars about social media, and she hasn’t jumped on the “one-size-fits-all” bandwagon of social media marketing.
I think that’s one of the things I like best about Carol. Who needs 100,000 followers if you’re a one-man show? You’d never be able to keep up with the volume, particularly if you’re offering a product or service that requires your attention.
In November, we offered our first class in Johns Creek, at the office of our friend and networking colleague, Sharon Galpin, of Weathers Insurance. The group included people who had never dipped a toe in the pool of social media, and those who were sticking to the shallow end because they didn’t have time, patience or an understanding of how social media could work for them.
In our class, we explain that social media is “cyber-networking,” and that it isn’t a traditional marketing medium where you put together a campaign to talk at your customers and prospects; it’s more of a networking group that engages in discussion – sometimes animated, sometimes simply informative. But what must always take place is dialogue – discussion.
"The Network Goddess" Beth Hermes
We encourage our students to listen to and participate in the conversations. You don’t have to always be the person who comes up with the topic. If you keep an ear to the ground (or an eye on the chatter threads), you’ll figure out just what it is people are looking for, or what they want to know from you, the expert.
So when we were invited to visit Elizabeth Gordon’s RadioX program the other day to discuss social media, Carol and I visited the questions from our students and customers to help fashion a program that was fun and informative, and made our thirty minutes fly by!
Click here to listen to the interview. And please let us know if you’d like to join us for one of our upcoming workshops.
Network Meeting “Hogs”
Of course, there are other types of “hogs,” but let’s start with these three basics.Social Media Not Quite “Social” Enough
Social media is the outlet where the truly social, the anti-social and the socially awkward interact on somewhat equal ground, and where something that tickles your funnybone and share with a friend (or friends) can actually have disastrous consequences.
Unfortunately, no one is immune. Despite my skill with the written word, dander up on a social site is the equivalent of a knight’s armor – no amount of humor, discussion or explanation will penetrate the “dander-up” defenses that could possibly have been “humored,” discussed or explained away in a phone call or face-to-face chat.
Despite my appreciation for British humor (yes, I used to watch “Benny Hill”), Jeff Dunham (A-C-H-phlegm…), Jon Stewart
photo courtesy of JewishJournal.com
(the most genius mind in comedy today) and the like, I do not have their talent. My humor is often dry, and never meant to be insulting, but sometimes people are just not “in the mood” for whatever reason.
That being said, I do not apologize for my appreciation of certain witticisms I have “liked,” commented on, “shared” or otherwise appreciated on social media sites, nor do I ask for apologies from others who post things that I find offensive. I simply ignore them or delete those particular posts (hint: that’s why there’s a “delete this post” option).
My husband and I were talking in the car the other day about how, when we were growing up, we were outside from dawn till dusk, carousing the neighborhood with whatever kids happened to be part of the “pack” each day. The kids in the pack talked, egged each other on, shared jokes and observations, and occasionally hurt each other’s feelings. If one kid picked on another too much, or carried a discussion so far as to make others uncomfortable, well, he (or she) wound up getting the stares or verbal cues that meant it was time to go
tvtropes.com
home and watch Scooby Doo on the sofa until tomorrow.
But that’s just it. There was body language. There was voice inflection. We knew that a hurt feeling today would be forgotten tomorrow, or that there would be a lesson learned. Rarely was it personal. Sometimes it was simply a matter of taste.
There may be a comment you share that others find offensive that you don’t think twice about. Because I grew up in a “pack,” I learned when to comment, when to just mind my own business and let it pass, and when to pack up my baseball glove and my bike and go home for the day.
Unfortunately, “social media” doesn’t allow for such interactions. There’s always going to be someone who crosses a line or makes a comment that turns something around that was meant to be lighthearted. When that happens, it’s up to you whether to get your feelings hurt or simply ignore it as another point of view.
I’m not here to offer any type of advice on how to deal with this situation. (That would no doubt raise the dander on those who employ a different solution). But consider the climate (Is it an election year? a game day? an obscure religious holiday?), consider the source (did your friend create the post or simply share it from someone else?), and stop to think about why you’re going to rail on one person and not another (is this the fifth time you’ve seen it today and you’re just tired of seeing it?).
Then hold your breath, hit the “delete post” tab and exhale slowly. And make a coffee date with your friend so you can see his or her winning smile!
Happy Networking
Many thanks to Cindy Holbrook for blogging about the 21 Habits of Happy People.
Of course, as we’ve discussed here, happy qualities don’t always carry over into networking, but they should.
I’ve taken the liberty to adapt Cindy’s 21 Habits to the Networking forum, and we’re finishing up this week with Tips 15 through 21:
15.Optimism. Staying “up” can be tough, particularly when you are one of those in the room who doesn’t receive a referral slip at the meeting – or for several meetings. It helps to remember that networking does not guarantee closed business. It simply means you are planting seeds. When you put a tomato seedling in the ground after breakfast, you can’t expect to return to the garden at dinner time and harvest a tomato. Trust that the relationships you are nurturing will bear fruit when the time is right – in the form of encouragement, referrals, and possibly closed business.
16. Love Unconditionally. In an ideal world, all business people would do the right thing. But we don’t live in an ideal world, and unfortunately people are capable of behaving badly during hard times. You don’t have to like them, but understand that they are a part of the group and move on.
17. Persistence. Successful networkers are nothing if not persistent! They recognize the attributes of their products or services and faithfully attend meeting after meeting, armed with business cards, and quite literally paying their dues with no guarantees of return on their investment. But those who stick with the program are more often rewarded than those who repeatedly shift gears.
18. Be Proactive. You may sell something the first time out, using a canned elevator speech, but that’s rare. By listening to your audience and figuring out how what you are selling will help solve their problems or meet their needs, you are more likely to be in-demand.
19. Self Care. Get a haircut. Make sure your socks match. Wear a tie when it’s appropriate to do so. And remember that it’s okay to order green tea instead of coffee, a fruit cup instead of a bagel. And don’t over-book your schedule. Taking care of yourself means you will be able to offer your best self to your networking colleagues.
20. Self Confidence. You may have taken a sales course, but you don’t have to spit out their lines verbatim. Listen to the sales pitches that resonate best with you. Tell stories, share testimonials, offer product demonstrations. Be yourself.
21. Take Responsibility. If you don’t believe in your product or service, you won’t sell it. And if you’re offering the cheaper version of something simply as a cost-saving opportunity, customers will recognize it for what it is sooner or later. Honor yourself, honor your products and most of all, honor your customers. Stand behind your product and you will earn respect.
Earning a living and doing what you love are not mutually exclusive. When you enjoy what you do, your happiness shows, and you’ll be able to face each networking opportunity with the smile and positive attitude it deserves!
Habits of Happy Networkers
(part 2 of 3)
The holiday Shop Local and my vacation interrupted the flow of the 21 habits, but I hope that this post will help inspire you to start your networking year feeling optimistic, energetic and ready to succeed!
Just a quick re-cap of the first seven habits:
- Appreciation – follow up with a thank-you phone call, email or handwritten note
- Choose Colleagues Wisely – surround yourself with positive people
- Be Considerate – treat other networking professionals with respect
- Continue to Learn – to bring substance to conversation
- Problem-Solving – learn and share experiences
- Do What You Love – contacts appear when you least expect them
- Enjoy Life – take time to re-charge
I followed my own advice with number 7. And now to start our next seven tips, adapted from Cindy Holbrook’s “The 21 Habits of Happy People.”
"Laugh" - My cousin, Keith Becker, (center) sharing a laugh with FBI agent Chadwick Elgersma and US Atty General Eric Holder in May (Karen T. Borchers/Mercury News)
8. Laugh – Some of the most memorable “elevator speeches” are those that involve humor. I’ve rapped, waxed poetic, even “channeled” Dr. Seuss, with great results!
9. Forgive – It’s inevitable that someone is going to miss an appointment, run over their allotted speaking time, forget to turn off their cell phone… We’re human. It isn’t personal.
10. Gratitude – I recently came across this quote by Elaine St. James: “There’s a self-expansive aspect of gratitude. Very possibly it’s a little-known law of nature: the more gratitude you have, the more you have to be grateful for.” We always want the big stuff, but I think being thankful for the little stuff is even harder for some people.
11. Invest In Relationships – It isn’t how much you pay for the privilege of being part of a networking organization; it’s the time you invest in developing relationships built on mutual respect and trust. I’m always careful to ask permission to share contact information, and I’ve noticed that the people who are the most satisfied networkers are those who are skilled at connecting people.
12. Keep Your Word – If you make an appointment, write up a lead, express an interest in a product or service, make sure you show up or follow up. There’s nothing more frustrating than taking time out of the day to sit at a coffee shop waiting for someone who has forgotten the appointment, or clearing space in my project schedule for someone who “changed their mind” without the courtesy of a phone call or email.
13. Meditate – Okay, you think this one may be a little far-fetched for networking folks. But if you take some quiet time each day (or at least each week) to reflect on what you enjoy about your business, how you can succeed and what you can do to help others, you’ll feel more relaxed and be more successful than someone who continually burns the candle at both ends.
14. Mind Your Own Business – This may seem counterintuitive in networking circles, but if you concentrate on how you can provide the best product or service for your own customers and only offer advice if you’re asked, then you’ll develop much healthier relationships. In our Wednesday morning networking group we have a “mastermind moment,” during which one person in the group actively seeks advice from the other members. It’s a wonderful way to support a fellow networker – and perhaps learn something that will help you as well – without stepping on toes.
We’ll wrap up this series next week with the last seven habits. Stay tuned!
